Mediation can provide a quicker, less costly and less hostile way of solving disputes in a variety of circumstances. Examples where you could use it include a business dispute or when trying to settle a personal injury claim.
If you enter mediation reluctantly, expecting it to fail, then don’t be surprised if it does. A negative mindset will increase the prospect of a negative outcome. If you and the other party enter with an open mind, with the expectation that you can work things out, then you most likely will.
Ask, don’t assume
Researchers found that one of the biggest hindrances to mediation is the parties’ assumptions about the other. For example, you know what would represent a satisfactory outcome for you but assume the other party would never agree to it. Yet you can’t know unless you ask them. Asking “Would you be willing to …?” is a great way to start negotiations.
Even if they might not be willing to do or accept what you are asking, it creates a starting point. They can reply, “No, but I would be willing to do or accept x”.
Listen and try to understand
Charles is refusing to budge from his initial offer. Your initial assumption might be it’s because he is a jerk. Maybe that’s true, or perhaps there is more to it than that. By listening and trying to understand the reasoning behind his position you can respond better.
Maybe his tough stance is connected to a deep-rooted fear of looking weak because his father used to hit him when he showed weakness as a child. Or maybe he feels you let him down and needs to hear an apology before he is willing to soften his stance.
The mediator is there to help you overcome any barriers between you and try and find a smooth path forward. Understanding your legal rights regarding the issue at stake can help to inform how you approach things.